a portrait of me..

Boy: I saw her today
Girl: I saw him today

Boy: It seems like its been forever
Girl: I wonder if he still cares

Boy: She looks better than before
Girl: I couldn’t stop staring at him

Boy: I asked how things were going
Girl: I asked about his new girlfriend

Boy: I’d choose her over any girl I’m with
Girl: He’s probably really happy right now

Boy: I couldn’t look at her without starting to cry
Girl: He couldn’t even look at me

Boy: I told her I miss her
Girl: He doesn’t mean it

Boy: I meant it
Girl: He didn’t mean it

Boy: I love her
Girl: He loves his new girlfriend

Boy: I held her for the last time
Girl: He gave me a friendly hug

Boy: Then I went home and cried
Girl: Then I went home and cried

Boy: I lost her
Girl: I still love him

I wonder what his name is,
I wonder where he lives,
I wonder what he’s thinking,
I wonder what it is
That makes me feel the way I’m feeling,
The way that makes me shake,
The way he has me wondering
If he’ll ask me on a date,
I hope he thinks I’m beautiful,
I hope I don’t get shy,
I hope that in the end
He doesn’t make me cry.

I hope your hands
will always be for
me to hold.
And, if they are
a trifle sweaty,
would you mind
to overlook
this sign of
rampant joy?

I hope your eyes
will always be for
me to love.
And, if they shed
a few shy tears,
so would you mind
I kissed them all away?

I hope your ears
will always be for
my own words.
And if they’re sparse
at times or casual
would you mind
me whispering
sweet nothings -
all day and night?

I hope your smile
will always be
just waiting
to shine on me
with love
and tenderness.
And would you mind
to save your smile
when I am sleeping
for morning glory?

I hope your lips
will always be
just waiting,
for kisses that
sing songs
of love for me.
And if I hurry
out the door
still chewing brekkie,
I hope you’ll
want to:
look into my eyes,
talk into my ears,
hold my calloused hands
and kiss me
’til I melt.

Herbert Nehrlich

ncus: pertanyaan, kenapa laki2 suka sekali ngegombalin ce?

max: kayaknya kata ngegombalin enggak tepat…

ncus: trus?

max: memberi perasaan nyaman ke ce, itu yang bener..

ncus: membuai…?

max: membuai itu

kan

tergantung ce nya…

max: kalo gampang mabuk, ya, mabukkk

max: kalo enggak, ya, enggak apa-apa juga

max: mabuk itu enak…

max: apalagi mabuk karena cinta…wowwwwww

max: sumpah aku bersedia ngasih apa aja supaya bisa punya perasaan rindu, jatuh cinta lagiiiiiii

ncus: hm….

max: meski resikonya sakit…

max: tapi tetep aja nikmatttttttttt

ncus: trauma ah..

max: pain is gooddddd, honey..

ncus: no, it’s not..

max: penyair menuliskan ceritanya dengan pena yang penuh darah dan airmata…

max: sakit, memang, tapi still it feels good

max: berikan dirimu utuh kepada cinta meskipun pedang-pedang yang ada di balik sayap-sayap itu mungkin akan melukaimu..

max: itu kata Kahlil Gibran..

ncus: yeah, but i’m not that strong

max: enggak perlu kuat…

max: aku teramat lemah…

max: tapi rasa sakit dan duri dari mawar menaikkan derajatku jauh di atas mereka yang berlagak kuat menahan sakit..

ncus: aduh, dalem amat, ya…. ngga nyampe nih…

max: he..he..he..

max: maaf…

max: intinya..rasa sakit itu mesti diterima, dihirup dengan ikhlas…

max: kalo kita cerdas, dan mau menerimanya, dia jadi tameng kita yang terkuat..

hoaaaaaa, no way…..! pain is not good!! certainly! do you think so..?

When i feel no more passion…

How much longer, GOD, will you forgot me all the time?

            How much longer will you

hide Your face toward me?

How much longer do I have to put my worry inside me,

            and feeling blue all the day?

            How much longer will my enemy raise her/his self

            upper me?

Please look at me, answer me, GOD, my Lord!

            Make my eyes shining,

            so that I do not sleep and die,

so that my enemies will not tell: “ I defeat her.”

            and my rivals cheer,

            when I am wobbly.

But me, to Your faithful love I believe,

           How much longer, GOD..?

When I was a little girl….

… actually, this tiny charming little girl didn’t know why she lived separate from her parents. She just knows that she grown up well by a wise kindly beautiful woman called auntie. She was the first one who felt sad when the little girl was sick, the first one who laughed when the little girl was doing something funny; she’s all I have by that time. And yes God, she is the best in my life…

… 1^st school

everything is new for me, the school, the friends, the teachers, but it was so fun..! new uniform, new shoes.. hm… I remember how proud my auntie looked at me by that time.. her little girl will begin her journey in the real world by herself. She always tied my hair in a different ways every day and told me “you are beautiful, be nice at school, ok..?!” and I just kept smiling to her, can’t wait to begin my day.

But something became different, every holiday season I had to stay at my parent’s house at less for a week.  And I found my self crying all the time there; especially in the night caused I missed my auntie so much….

They called it ‘cinta monyet”

Junior high school… It was the first time someone asked me to be his girl friend… ^_^

he is such a cute looking guy, quite naughty and has a bright eyes. I remember when he sent me a love letter.. = ) what a new world! Now, thinking of you makes me smile.. thank you for being a part of my memories.

1^st love …  

I believe love at the 1^st sight…. Once I looked at him, I knew he already took a part of my heart. Oh my God, he is so cute and I wished he is mine… his smile… his laugh… = ) just looking at him makes my heart beating so hard.

I met him quite often, and finally when I entered my high school I found out that he was my senior, what a surprised…! Sometimes we went home together and shared lots of story, he really did brighten my days… where are you right now? I miss you.

Be an arch student

There were many stories to tell. The environment, the challenges, the people… here I met fabulous friends, we shared our days together with laugh, gossips, tears, jokes, support, and lots of surprises. I love you guys…. (all of kurcaci ce n co, viva my friends!)   I missed all the things that we have, the days that we shared, the times that we passed, the supports that we gave each other… it means a lot for me.

And here I found someone special too.. someone who really nice… thanks for sharing those 4 years to know and love me. Well, but it was another story to tell, some day; perhaps, when I think I’m ready to share it…

.. being a college student again

1 year working at selaras indah megah utama is enough, I need more changes especially after all the sad things that happened in my romance life, I really need a new atmosphere… Lasalle college, yes! I became a student once again.  Lots of books, lots of projects, lots of passions and friends too.. and suddenly I remember my gang base camp, it was the most convenient place to be (thanks to you and family, meil ! Gbu all).   

Now…

After all the things that happened in my life, I thank God for giving me such a various people and things to share and learn. For every step that I took, every people that I met, every decision that I made, every tears that I cried, and every word that I prayed, I wish I already did my best.

now… in my loneliness, I’m still praying…..